When something happens in your life that changes everything, literally EVERYTHING, I feel like eventually you get to a point of wanting to reevaluate. Reevaluate not just your life, but feelings, hopes, things that make you upset or angry. Just reevaluate things. At least that’s how I’ve been lately. I don’t know if everyone does, but I can assume I’m not alone in feeling this.
I’m not talking about reevaluating myself, like changing my name and moving across the country or anything. But trying to figure out what is really important. Important enough to actually consider changing, and one word that keeps popping into my head as a way to start this reevaluation of life is simplicity.
I don’t think of myself as a complex person. I’m a pretty open book. I’ll tell my story to anyone. Not just my Quinlan story, but my life story. I wouldn’t say my family is too complex, even though we have some alcoholics, divorces, many with anxiety, depression, and, unfortunately, Quinlan not being the only one with medical issues. I’d say for the most part, we’re not too complicated. But if you’d like to know more, feel free to ask.
What I’ve really been trying to change, to reevaluate, are the things that can make life more simple. There’s something to be said for simplicity, whatever definition of simplicity works for you. There’s “simplicity: the quality or condition of being easy to understand or do”. That’s not my definition. I don’t need things to be easy to do. In fact, I’m not sure I’d know how to handle “easy”. I grew up with divorced parents, close family members who dealt with alcoholism, and not a whole lot of money in a town that was known for being pretty wealthy. I even had fake Birkenstocks…how did I survive?! <sarcasm> However, we were loved by many, lucky enough to spend overnights at the grandparents, had great friends who didn’t care where we lived, always had Christmas presents under the tree, and had pizza every Saturday night. I’d say we did ok with what we were given.
“Simplicity: the quality or condition of being plain or natural”. This is what I’m talking about. At this moment, there is a pot of chili simmering on the stove, Wheel of Fortune on the TV, Bear downstairs playing a video game while I write, my tush planted on the couch typing away on my lap top, and a blanket draped over my lap. This is becoming a typical night for us and I like it. Of course, this is not every night. Bear coaches two nights a week, I have therapy every couple weeks after work, and I can often be found at my brother and SIL’s house hanging out with my niece and nephew (although over there, I’m usually hanging out on their couch with a blanket as well). But this is becoming natural. Not having to make plans every night of the week. Not feeling like I need to be doing something all the time. I can sit and relax, read a book or listen to music. I’ve even taken up sewing (what?!) Maybe this is a way of preparing ourselves for (hopefully) bringing another little one into our world in the future, knowing routine is important in those times (although video games, reading, and sewing may once again become a thing of the past with a newborn). Or maybe it’s a way of slowing down and taking a breath. Something everyone needs to do every once in a while. Whatever the purpose, it feels right.
At the same time that I’m enjoying this simplicity, I obviously think of how it was before. It wasn’t uncommon to have something cooking on the stove and Wheel of Fortune on the TV (Jeopardy if it was 7:30), but there wasn’t much time to play video games, or write a blog. There was an amazing little boy that needed our full attention. And if you were home alone with him, it was nearly impossible to even go to the bathroom for fear of something happening that needed immediate attention. That’s not my definition of simplicity. There’s nothing more UNnatural than having to pee as fast as you possibly can with the door wide open so you could hear if any alarms went off. It was a different world, but it was our world. Anything but simple, yet amazing.
So while I sit here watching live TV (not dvr’d so I’m forced to, dare I say, watch commercials) and consider getting rid of cable all together (how much more simple could a world be than with no cable), I’m hoping this slowed pace of living can continue for us. Stopping to “smell the roses” (I’d prefer tulips but that’s for another blog) can only help all of us in this rushed, fast forwarded, hustle and bustle of life.
Now let’s all take a deep breath….IN…1…2…3…4….and OUT….1…2…3…4…